Slow and Steady Wins the Race

As I've said before, I feel that when I hear the same thing simultaneously from multiple unrelated sources, I feel as though that is God screaming something at me. I believe that He is telling me "slow and steady wins the race."

Lately, my diet has been going "pretty well." Of course, I went off plan for not only Thanksgiving day, but the entire week of Thanksgiving. We had a company lunch on Tuesday, family dinner Thursday, family in town and eating out Friday, Saturday, Sunday...then I had a stomach virus. I ate nothing and only drank Gatorade on Monday because I did not want to see anything in reverse. Tuesday, I made the point that I would be back at Medifast, and I tried to do it. I don't know if all of the protein was just too heavy for my stomach, but it made me feel horrible. So, I decided on Tuesday to eat some crackers in the morning, drink some organic ginger ale (since ginger settles the stomach), and I even stomached a sub sandwich for lunch (it was the only thing in the world that sounded good to me). So, while I wasn't outright feasting, I wasn't on plan. But, I cut myself a little slack because my stomach felt like butt. Well, that night for dinner, Justin and I went out to eat. I had Mexican (completely bad), and certainly no one can sell the "I had to eat Mexican because my stomach was too sick for Medifast." So, it became apparent that my Mexican meal was not an effort to eat something that didn't make me want to puke...it was me using it as an excuse. It was the age old "Well, I'm already off plan, may as well be off and enjoy it!"

That made me mad. I was irritated with myself that I'd made my typical "all or nothing" mentality mistake. So, I vowed then and there that on Wednesday, my butt was back on plan! And I was! With a vengeance, might I add! I cruised along through that week, and then the next one on plan. Sunday came, and we went to lunch with friends after church to a new Mexican restaurant. I tried to do well by ordering fajitas, vowing in my head not to eat the tortillas. Well, of course I ate them, and I felt lousy afterward. I went on to have pizza for dinner in true "already off, may as well enjoy it" style.

That night, I was disgusted with myself. So, Monday morning, I was on Medifast straight and narrow! Monday night, I went to dinner with a friend, at Mexican...believe it or not. What is up with me and Mexican? Anyways... I ordered a dish that is grilled chicken with onions and mushrooms on top, and a side salad with avocado and salsa as dressing. That's right...I went to Mexican, no chips, no tortillas, no cheating. I DEFEATED THAT MONSTER! Today is my "Day 3" of being on plan, so I've surpassed my DTs and I'm feeling good.

Last night I was on my way to dinner, and the thoughts of "I could have something off plan" entered my head. I didn't even seriously consider them...but they were there nonetheless. I noticed my friend Leah had posted a video about "staying on the bus." I plugged my phone in and listened to that video as I was pulling into dinner. The idea from the video that stuck with me was this: if you get off of the bus before you reach your destination, you're just wasting time, money, and repeatedly having to get back on. If you feel yourself saying that you should get off the bus, ask yourself "am I at my destination?" If the answer is no, sit your butt back down, and keep riding. MAN that fired me up. He was SO right. I'm NOT at my destination, there is NO reason to get off and wander around. So, I had a very good salad for dinner, and I was ON PLAN.

Today, during my lunch break (of eating Medifast...on plan...hells yeah), I was reading Dave Ramsey's book EntreLeadership. I was reading, oddly enough, a section about sticking with your plan for an extended amount of time to reach real success. Of course, he was primarily applying this to growing your business. This quote spoke to me: "[speaking of those who get too focused on a small goal] They trade real, rich, abiding deep success for the momentary win and then are constantly having to start over. Have a long-term vision and execute it. As the billionaire advised me, slow and steady wins the race." Well, there it is again. If I stop to enjoy some really delicious carby fried food, it's a momentary win. For that moment, getting off the bus and checking out the great food is fun and feels great. However, when I realize how much further the bus has to go and that I've been wasting a bunch of time being out there wandering around, I realize that I'm not achieving real success.

So, I thought I'd share that. I've got to learn to stay focused over time. If it's not a MAJOR holiday (Christmas, my birthday, etc.), my rump needs to be on plan. I've got a long bus ride, and I need to be making time. Else...I'm never going to arrive. If I'll stay on the bus, I'll get there on schedule, and have a whole lot of time to get off of the bus and enjoy my destination.

Obsession With The Scale

Hello all! :)

For the first week on Medifast, I started weighing every day. During that first week, you lose so much water weight so quickly (I lost 8.2 pounds in 7 days), that stepping on the scale is REALLY encouraging. The first week is the toughest (especially the first 3 days), so when you're ill, have the shakes, and generally feel like doo doo, hopping on the scale to see another few pounds gone helps those symptoms to be worth while.

That being said...my scale number hasn't moved in several days. I've been on plan, drinking my water, feeling lighter, feeling healthier, more energized...but every morning, I step on that scale, and it doesn't "reflect" my feelings of accomplishments. First of all, it doesn't stop on a number...so I'm thinking I may need to put it in a more level location. But, I find myself each morning stepping on it 18 times hoping that THIS time it will stop and it'll be on a number that reflects how I feel. So, I start with "maybe I need to move it", "maybe I'm eating too much", "maybe...". In the middle of all of that, I was like...wait. Whoa. Scale obsessed much?

I'm doing all of my "healthy checks" such as eating my medifast meals, eating my lean and green, drinking my water, and as a result, I know that I'm feeling like a million bucks. But I'm seriously obsessing over that scale, and it's got to stop. If I don't stop, I know me. I know that I'll go "well I'm not losing weight, so screw it." It's ridiculous. Living and dying by that number is driving me nuts.

One of my very good friends and I were discussing this today (as we both struggle with it) and we decided to set "weigh days" once a month. We made a pact that unless it's "weigh day"...you keep your rump off that scale. The reason I weigh daily is that I'm constantly looking for that concrete affirmation that "yes, what you did yesterday worked." I want to be able to say "by having a hot tea with splenda instead of a sugary coffee drink at Journey group last night and by watching my portions, and by drinking my water yesterday...I'm down a pound." But...sometimes it just doesn't show up that quickly!

I feel like this carries over in other areas of my life. I want to see some sort of "proof" that the work I'm doing is going to pay out. But, sometimes it isn't there. Sometimes I simply have to follow God and trust that if I'm following Him and I'm doing what He has for me, He will reward me with a blessing. Matthew 6:33 tells me that If I seek the kingdom of God first and HIS righteousness, all of "these things" will be added unto me. I know that God's will for my life right now is to eat healthy foods to fuel my body, drink water to hydrate and cleanse my body, and exercise my body to burn off some of the fat that I've stored through my lifelong struggle with gluttony. He wants me to take the steps necessary to rid myself of the consequences of sin. He wants these things because they concatonate themselves in my repentance from gluttony. So...I've got to believe that if I seek these things first because they're what God's called me to..."all these things"...will be added unto me. Scale numbers will drop. Pants will get loose. People will start to notice and compliment me on my progress. My physical stamina will increase. I will reach my lofty weight loss goals.

Monitoring that scale day in and day out is like micromanaging God. Every morning..."What about now, God? I was good yesterday, God. How about now? What about today?" I know that when I'm micromanaged...it really irritates me. It makes me feel like someone doesn't trust me to do what I said I'd do and do it right. So, today, I'm stopping that. I will not be stepping on the scale until Wednesday, November 14th. That is mine and J's first "Weigh Day." After that, we won't weigh again until December 15th (30 days from the last one). In that time, I'm going to have to obtain my daily assurance from the following questions:

1. Did I stick to my MediFast plan today?
2. Did I drink half my weight in ounces of water today?
3. Did I get at least 30 minutes of cardio in today?
4. Did I spend my quality time with God today?

Those are the things right now that I feel God has called me to in order to reach my goal of health. So, as long as I'm seeking those things and His presence...I believe that He will reward me with the numbers. Of course, my goals will be slightly modified for Thanksgiving week and Christmas/Birthday week. I do plan on setting goals for those weeks so that while I do splurge, I will be doing a controlled splurge...not just free wheeling. But, more to come on that when we get closer to it.

I've got my daily checklist on my phone and I'm checking accomplishments off! Here's to freedom from the scale for a few days!

Victory? I think so.

We went to the McCurdys' to watch the Bama game on Saturday, and we did cheat a little bit. I had a few BBQ nachos (heavenly), 1 bowl of chili, and 1 piece of apple pie (also heavenly). Some of you reading might say "wow, you cheated a lot." Maybe so. But, a month ago, I'd have eaten 2 plates of nachos, 2 bowls of chili, and a piece of apple pie WITH ice cream. I know me. I would have been in and out of that kitchen constantly "munching"; grabbing chips here, a little more chili there, until I was so full that I would burst. But, I hate my litte portion very slowly savoring each bite, and then I went on about my business. No, I can't say that I ever felt "full." I did feel satisfied. I kept thinking "I really could eat more, and I'd like to. But, I don't need to. This is enough." So, to me, that felt like a victory. I was able to enjoy some really tasty food at an event without making the ENTIRE evening about the food. I left satisfied that I'd tried some of my friends' really tasty treats, but I didn't gorge myself. When my friend asked if I'd like some chili to take home, I politely responded "No thank you. I've got to be back on Medifast tomorrow." And, I was.

Sunday, the scale number was only up a half pound. For a cheat night, that's freaking awesome for me. So, Sunday I purposed to drink my water, and sure enough, on Monday, the scale was not down half a pound, it was down 2 more! So, for week one, I lost a total of 8.2 pounds. NOT TOO SHABBY!

Monday I felt a little crummy, but I am sure that was from my body getting back into ketosis (and, its freaking Monday, who feels good?).

Today I'm feeling good! I'm ready to continue moving forward. Yeah, I cheated on my first week. But, I cheated responsibly, and I feel like I've made the plan fit into my life. The next day, I was back on plan full force. Life will never slow down for me to be on a diet. If I sit at home being a hermit on a diet, I'll get fed up and go completely wild. So, a little nacho here and there keeps it real. The second word in "healthy life" is LIFE.

When people don't understand...

Having been on Medifast before and now having been back on it for a week, I've noticed something, and I'm struggling to find a balance with it. It is no secret that Medifast is a very restrictive program. All but one meal that you eat in a day is pre-packaged. You prepare one meal, but you are not allowed any starches/breads/etc. there really are no "snacks." Sure, there is a list of "approved snacks" that you could have if you felt you needed them, but by and large, as often as you eat your meals, snacks aren't really needed. It's very limiting, very abnormal compared to the typical American diet (which is carbs, meat, and fat), and rightly so...it works and it works well!

That being said, the social aspect of my life has been (and will continue to be) tricky regarding Medifast. People just DON'T understand why you're on such a strict plan and why "just one little bite" actually WILL hurt. I certainly know that my friends don't mean me harm by any means. They just don't know what it's like to be SO overweight that you really need to take restrictive, drastic measures to lose pounds. They also don't understand what it's like to be in ketosis. You really AREN'T hungry all the time the way that you are on a lot of diets. And, the carbs in just ONE slice of bread or one beer are enough to kick me out of ketosis or "fat burning mode." I know that their "oh come on, one little bite isn't going to kill you" and "oh you can just cheat a little on the weekends, can't you?" comments are not grounded in malicious intent. They just don't understand.

Thus far, I've just kind of said "no thanks, I'm REALLY good with not eating even ONE bite" or "nahhhh I can't cheat! I've got a long way to go!" I'm trying to turn them away as graciously as I can. But, I don't want to become "that guy."

Let me explain what I mean by that. We all have that friend that's an extremely picky water for one reason or another. They're either vegan, or have religious dietary limitations, or they're just picky as hell and weird about what they eat. And they talk about it. Constantly. You can't sit down at a meal with them EVER without hearing about what they don't like, can't have, etc. I know someone like this. This person is SO picky about food, and they make it KNOWN. Lunches, parties, dinners, you name it. Everyone tries to avoid sitting around them because they don't want to sit and listen to "eew I don't like that" and "oh I can't have that" while they watch the person pick through their food. This person is specifically avoided when others are going out to lunch on the basis that "oh God, we don't want to have to pick a approved place" or "if we invite we are just going to have to sit and hear about their food and what they don't like about it".

I don't want to be this person! Medifast is about me losing weight and getting healthy. It's not an attention-getting mechanism. I'm not doing this on the basis that I want everyone to look a me and my restrictive plan and pay all attention to it. In fact, I want quite the opposite. I want to be able to live my life around friends and family while on Medifast in the same way that I did before I was on it, just without the unhealthy eating. That's the only change! And the change really only affects me and my choices.

With lunch outings at work, weekend football parties, and so much more on the horizon, I'm going to have to be focused on staying on plan but not being "that guy" at the same time. I really don't want people to think "don't invite Katie...she won't eat anything because its got carbs..." Don't get me wrong, I WON'T be eating anything carby. But, I'm also going to make it a point to be discreet about my restrictions, so as not to put an unwanted spotlight on myself. This isn't about getting attention from others. This is about losing weight and getting healthy so that I can experience the anxiety-free, healthy life that God has planned for me.

All of that being said...does anyone have any good "comebacks" to the "oh, you can eat just one" or "one bite won't kill you" or "girl you can cheat! It's the weekend. You can get back with it on Monday!" types of comments? I'd love fresh ideas and perspectives! Leave me some comments!

Day 3

Yesterday concluded day 3. According to all Medifast literature, as of the end of day 3, you are in ketosis ("fat burning mode"). So, let's raise our glass of water to being in "fat burning mode"! Speaking of glasses of water, I met my "drink half your body weight in ounces of water" goal yesterday! Wow, that's a lot of hooch!!! But, I did it, and it felt great. I don't think I've been to the bathroom quite so much in my life, but it felt sort of "cleansing" to constantly be getting rid of something.

Yesterday afternoon I struggled a little bit with "munchies." It's not even that I wanted something nearby, but I'd see something online or hear something on the radio, start thinking about food, and my stomach would growl. It was TOTALLY mental. So, I fixed myself a big bowl of Medifast soup (chicken and wild rice) with double the water and a bouillon cube (I wanted the most volume). That seriously ROCKED. It was so warm and filling, and it ended my "cravings" for the day.

Of course, yesterday was Halloween, so that meant "goodies" everywhere. Candy bowl at work, "spooky treat" contest at work, passing out candy after work... But, I'm proud to say that I wasn't really tempted at all. The candy bowl at work beckoned me once when I walked by, but I just kept walking. "Spooky treats" just don't really appeal to me. I'm not really interested in eating a cupcake with an eyeball on it... This year mom and I went to a friend's house and helped them pass out candy. With all 4 of us in the house being on Medifast, we didn't even want to buy candy to hand out. If we had any left over (and you know we would), it would have been a serious stumbling block.

Mom and I were both BEAT last night, so we ate out at a local restaurant (Jersey's). We both stayed on program. I had land and sea (a skewer of beef and a skewer of shrimp) with steamed broccoli and a side salad (very little dressing). Mom had a grilled chicken salad (also with very little dressing). It felt good to relax outside the house a bit, but not blow our diet. I love that we can still eat out without fear of going off plan.

Well, that was day 3...here's to day 4! I've already had 48 oz. of water and I've been awake for 2 hours (crazy)! Also, as of the scale this morning, I'm down another 2 pounds, making for a total loss of 6.4 since Monday. I'm so excited!!!

Day 2

Well, today is day 2 for me on Medifast (well, for this go-around on Medifast. I did it for 3 months at the beginning of this year and lost 50 pounds). Yesterday went REALLY well. I started my day with some oatmeal, and had planned chicken and wild rice soup for lunch. Well, a client called and wanted to meet me for lunch, so those plans changed a little bit. But, I had an awesome salad with some grilled chicken and white balsamic vinaigrette. I was really happy that even on day 1, I was able to stay on plan and make the right choice. It felt SO good. It would have been so easy to say "It's a client lunch. They're paying. It would be silly not to take FULL advantage and eat something AWESOME!" But, that's not God's best. God's best is a healthy/anxiety free life. Right now, His will for me is losing weight, and so I'm sticking to that! The salad was absolutely amazing though; I'm not sure that anything else I would've ordered would have been as good or any better. I tried to eat it slow, really think about the flavors as I ate, and enjoy those fresh veggies. I ate some soup for my other meal, and had Medifast Chili (one of my favorites!!) for dinner.

I also did 20 minutes of cardio and some light weight training after dinner. I'm following the "Escape Your Shape" workout plan. If you've never heard of it, look into it! It's GREAT for weight loss. The only weight that you use is a 4 lb bar. But, don't let that fool you. You FEEL like you're working out. But, you're not immobile and sore the next day. My primary focus right now as far as workouts is to just maintain my muscle tone and get some cardio in. I've heard horror stories of people who "just did cardio" while they were losing weight, and they lost muscle tone too along the way. I don't want that! Once I drop some weight, I might look into something a bit more "sculpting", but for now, fat loss and toning is key. I really feel like the EYS workout plan is perfect for those goals. Plus it's customized to how you're shaped. I'm an hourglass. Yes, an overweight hourglass (like a 2 hourglass, HAH!), but I'm evenly proportioned. There are plans for those who are top heavy (cones), bottom heavy (spoons), and straight (rulers) as well!

Today, thus far, has gone pretty well. I've had a few cravings, but nothing that I couldn't withstand. I know that the first 3 days are the hardest, and after tomorrow, I won't be hungry, I'll feel SO good, and knowing that is coming keeps me focused on these 3 days. I'll be in fat burning MODE!

One thing that does keep "appearing" in my life over the past 2 days is water. Normally, when I feel like the same topic keeps "appearing" in my life, I feel that it's God using people in my life to convey a message to me. Last night, our family doctor called to check in on mom's Medifast progress (he is her health coach), and he said that she should be drinking half of her body weight in ounces of water each day. WOW. We sat and talked about that for a bit, and for us big girls, that's a LOT of hooch! So, I kind of blew it off. Then today at lunch, my boss was talking about when his wife lost weight, and their doctor told them that the most IMPORTANT thing was drinking LOTS of water. It keeps your body hydrated and really helps to flush everything out as you lose. He said that she drank so much you could fairly hear her sloshing, but that she also lost a good bit of weight just from making that change! He also said that first thing in the morning, before you even brush your teeth, you should drink 12-16 oz. of water. It apparently jump starts your metabolism or something. THEN, mom's chiropractor told her the same thing about drinking half of her weight in ounces. Okay, God, point received! I'm so THANKFUL that God is so awesome and knows me so well that He knows to repeat something several times so that I "get it." What an amazing and persistent Creator...He cares enough about speaking to me that He doesn't mind repeating Himself!

That being said, I've drank almost 9 cups today thus far. Like I said, I'm a BIG girl, so I have quite a bit to go, and I may not make the "half my weight" goal, but by golly, I'm going to try and drown myself (jk). I'm also going to sit a bottle on my night stand, and I plan on drinking it first thing on my way to the bathroom to get ready. Perhaps more water will be just what my body needs; especially with this dry fall air!

This morning, I stepped on the scale, and I'm down 2 pounds from yesterday. I know, I know, don't weigh daily, and it's just water weight, and all of that...but on Medifast, you lose so quickly, it's VERY common to be able to see differences daily (especially in the first few weeks). And yeah, it may just be water, fine. But, I'm excited about 2 pounds less of ANYTHING that I've been carrying around on my body. I don't care if it's water, or fat, or what. It's gone, and I'm lighter.

Good stuff! I'm excited! Thus far I'm on track for my goal of losing 100 pounds (from my January weight) by May 2013. I'm not going to reveal HOW MUCH I weigh just yet, but once I get far enough from that number, I'll divulge. I'll also provide "before" and "after" pictures! I can't wait to get to the "after"!! God is so good and He's doing amazing things!

The Realization

This past weekend, Justin and I had the pleasure of going to my company's picnic at Stone Mountain. It was a blast! It also lead me to an important realization/mantra...nothing is worth more than what God has intended for my life. Now...let me explain how the two correlate.

It's no secret that I've always been overweight. From a husky kid, to a chunky teenager, to an obese adult...weight has always been a struggle for me. I've always been in a cycle: reach a weight where I'm absolutely miserable, decide to lose weight, lose 30-50 pounds, start feeling better, forget about how miserable I felt, "reward" myself, fall into the "no, this is fine, I feel fine, and I can eat what I want and just maintain this" pit, and end up back at the miserable position. Ridiculous, tiring, frustrating, and discouraging are all acceptable words to describe this cycle.

Right now, I am in that point before complete misery (I'm not there yet. I can still breathe in my pants.). So, I'm slightly unhappy with my weight, but not just completely MISERABLE. However, my unhappiness amplified as I asked myself every woman's favorite question before an event where she will be with a large crowd of people: What am I going to wear? Those pants are kind of tight, so I'm not sure I want to walk around in them all day. But, my fat pants are well...my fat pants...and they make me look and feel fat. What shirt minimizes my stomach the most? What a hassle. Then, all day, there's the constant struggle to not look fat. Sit up straight. Hold it in. Don't ever look winded or slumped. Watch how much and how quickly you eat...after all, you don't want to look like a hog. Since I've always been overweight, I normally don't notice this constant dialogue in my head. 

But, on Saturday, I heard it. I looked around at all of the other people not standing a certain way, or sitting a certain way, or constantly tugging at their clothes this way or that. Wow. What must it be like to not have to constantly be on patrol of trying not to look/feel fat?? To just sit...and act as you wish...because you're not worried about looking or feeling fat. It really made me realize the amount of anxiety that goes on in my head regarding this subject. Then, I remembered something that I'd read in my Bible a few days ago: 1 Corinthians 7:32 "I want you to be free from anxieties..." 

Wow. God's ideal plan for me is to live a life free of anxieties. That is God's BEST for me. What keeps me from that? Sin. Gluttony. Idol worship. In America (and particularly the South), we overlook gluttony. We look at drug addicts or alcoholics with the mentality that they are sinners, have a problem, and need to get rid of it ASAP. But, people who habitually partake of too much food are just fine. It's not fine. It's one of the seven deadly sins. It doesn't just mean that we can't buy clothes at the mall or that we need seatbelt extenders on planes...it means that we are STUCK in the sin of over-indulgence. We eat when we're happy. We eat when we're sad. We eat when we're bored. We would rather enjoy our food than have the healthy body that God intends for us to have. Our will above His will = idol worship. BIG problem.

In the past, I've always decided to "go on a diet" in order to fit into some clothes, achieve some workout goal, prepare for some event, etc. But, this time, my goal is to place God's best for my life as the #1 priority. I don't want any sin to stand between me and the anxiety-free life that God has for me. Nothing is worth that. There's no food on this earth worth that. So everyday, day by day, when the voice in my head goes "You know what sounds good? Pizza." or "You should go out to eat with them. It'll be fun. You deserve it." or "Everybody's eating it. You want to fit in.", I'm going to have to respond with "Pizza is not worth the panic that goes on in my head constantly to not look fat." "Going out to eat is not worth not being able to feel comfortable in my skin." "Eating what everybody's eating isn't worth this constant struggle." God's best is THE best...and it isn't food.