Obsession With The Scale

Hello all! :)

For the first week on Medifast, I started weighing every day. During that first week, you lose so much water weight so quickly (I lost 8.2 pounds in 7 days), that stepping on the scale is REALLY encouraging. The first week is the toughest (especially the first 3 days), so when you're ill, have the shakes, and generally feel like doo doo, hopping on the scale to see another few pounds gone helps those symptoms to be worth while.

That being said...my scale number hasn't moved in several days. I've been on plan, drinking my water, feeling lighter, feeling healthier, more energized...but every morning, I step on that scale, and it doesn't "reflect" my feelings of accomplishments. First of all, it doesn't stop on a number...so I'm thinking I may need to put it in a more level location. But, I find myself each morning stepping on it 18 times hoping that THIS time it will stop and it'll be on a number that reflects how I feel. So, I start with "maybe I need to move it", "maybe I'm eating too much", "maybe...". In the middle of all of that, I was like...wait. Whoa. Scale obsessed much?

I'm doing all of my "healthy checks" such as eating my medifast meals, eating my lean and green, drinking my water, and as a result, I know that I'm feeling like a million bucks. But I'm seriously obsessing over that scale, and it's got to stop. If I don't stop, I know me. I know that I'll go "well I'm not losing weight, so screw it." It's ridiculous. Living and dying by that number is driving me nuts.

One of my very good friends and I were discussing this today (as we both struggle with it) and we decided to set "weigh days" once a month. We made a pact that unless it's "weigh day"...you keep your rump off that scale. The reason I weigh daily is that I'm constantly looking for that concrete affirmation that "yes, what you did yesterday worked." I want to be able to say "by having a hot tea with splenda instead of a sugary coffee drink at Journey group last night and by watching my portions, and by drinking my water yesterday...I'm down a pound." But...sometimes it just doesn't show up that quickly!

I feel like this carries over in other areas of my life. I want to see some sort of "proof" that the work I'm doing is going to pay out. But, sometimes it isn't there. Sometimes I simply have to follow God and trust that if I'm following Him and I'm doing what He has for me, He will reward me with a blessing. Matthew 6:33 tells me that If I seek the kingdom of God first and HIS righteousness, all of "these things" will be added unto me. I know that God's will for my life right now is to eat healthy foods to fuel my body, drink water to hydrate and cleanse my body, and exercise my body to burn off some of the fat that I've stored through my lifelong struggle with gluttony. He wants me to take the steps necessary to rid myself of the consequences of sin. He wants these things because they concatonate themselves in my repentance from gluttony. So...I've got to believe that if I seek these things first because they're what God's called me to..."all these things"...will be added unto me. Scale numbers will drop. Pants will get loose. People will start to notice and compliment me on my progress. My physical stamina will increase. I will reach my lofty weight loss goals.

Monitoring that scale day in and day out is like micromanaging God. Every morning..."What about now, God? I was good yesterday, God. How about now? What about today?" I know that when I'm micromanaged...it really irritates me. It makes me feel like someone doesn't trust me to do what I said I'd do and do it right. So, today, I'm stopping that. I will not be stepping on the scale until Wednesday, November 14th. That is mine and J's first "Weigh Day." After that, we won't weigh again until December 15th (30 days from the last one). In that time, I'm going to have to obtain my daily assurance from the following questions:

1. Did I stick to my MediFast plan today?
2. Did I drink half my weight in ounces of water today?
3. Did I get at least 30 minutes of cardio in today?
4. Did I spend my quality time with God today?

Those are the things right now that I feel God has called me to in order to reach my goal of health. So, as long as I'm seeking those things and His presence...I believe that He will reward me with the numbers. Of course, my goals will be slightly modified for Thanksgiving week and Christmas/Birthday week. I do plan on setting goals for those weeks so that while I do splurge, I will be doing a controlled splurge...not just free wheeling. But, more to come on that when we get closer to it.

I've got my daily checklist on my phone and I'm checking accomplishments off! Here's to freedom from the scale for a few days!

Victory? I think so.

We went to the McCurdys' to watch the Bama game on Saturday, and we did cheat a little bit. I had a few BBQ nachos (heavenly), 1 bowl of chili, and 1 piece of apple pie (also heavenly). Some of you reading might say "wow, you cheated a lot." Maybe so. But, a month ago, I'd have eaten 2 plates of nachos, 2 bowls of chili, and a piece of apple pie WITH ice cream. I know me. I would have been in and out of that kitchen constantly "munching"; grabbing chips here, a little more chili there, until I was so full that I would burst. But, I hate my litte portion very slowly savoring each bite, and then I went on about my business. No, I can't say that I ever felt "full." I did feel satisfied. I kept thinking "I really could eat more, and I'd like to. But, I don't need to. This is enough." So, to me, that felt like a victory. I was able to enjoy some really tasty food at an event without making the ENTIRE evening about the food. I left satisfied that I'd tried some of my friends' really tasty treats, but I didn't gorge myself. When my friend asked if I'd like some chili to take home, I politely responded "No thank you. I've got to be back on Medifast tomorrow." And, I was.

Sunday, the scale number was only up a half pound. For a cheat night, that's freaking awesome for me. So, Sunday I purposed to drink my water, and sure enough, on Monday, the scale was not down half a pound, it was down 2 more! So, for week one, I lost a total of 8.2 pounds. NOT TOO SHABBY!

Monday I felt a little crummy, but I am sure that was from my body getting back into ketosis (and, its freaking Monday, who feels good?).

Today I'm feeling good! I'm ready to continue moving forward. Yeah, I cheated on my first week. But, I cheated responsibly, and I feel like I've made the plan fit into my life. The next day, I was back on plan full force. Life will never slow down for me to be on a diet. If I sit at home being a hermit on a diet, I'll get fed up and go completely wild. So, a little nacho here and there keeps it real. The second word in "healthy life" is LIFE.

When people don't understand...

Having been on Medifast before and now having been back on it for a week, I've noticed something, and I'm struggling to find a balance with it. It is no secret that Medifast is a very restrictive program. All but one meal that you eat in a day is pre-packaged. You prepare one meal, but you are not allowed any starches/breads/etc. there really are no "snacks." Sure, there is a list of "approved snacks" that you could have if you felt you needed them, but by and large, as often as you eat your meals, snacks aren't really needed. It's very limiting, very abnormal compared to the typical American diet (which is carbs, meat, and fat), and rightly so...it works and it works well!

That being said, the social aspect of my life has been (and will continue to be) tricky regarding Medifast. People just DON'T understand why you're on such a strict plan and why "just one little bite" actually WILL hurt. I certainly know that my friends don't mean me harm by any means. They just don't know what it's like to be SO overweight that you really need to take restrictive, drastic measures to lose pounds. They also don't understand what it's like to be in ketosis. You really AREN'T hungry all the time the way that you are on a lot of diets. And, the carbs in just ONE slice of bread or one beer are enough to kick me out of ketosis or "fat burning mode." I know that their "oh come on, one little bite isn't going to kill you" and "oh you can just cheat a little on the weekends, can't you?" comments are not grounded in malicious intent. They just don't understand.

Thus far, I've just kind of said "no thanks, I'm REALLY good with not eating even ONE bite" or "nahhhh I can't cheat! I've got a long way to go!" I'm trying to turn them away as graciously as I can. But, I don't want to become "that guy."

Let me explain what I mean by that. We all have that friend that's an extremely picky water for one reason or another. They're either vegan, or have religious dietary limitations, or they're just picky as hell and weird about what they eat. And they talk about it. Constantly. You can't sit down at a meal with them EVER without hearing about what they don't like, can't have, etc. I know someone like this. This person is SO picky about food, and they make it KNOWN. Lunches, parties, dinners, you name it. Everyone tries to avoid sitting around them because they don't want to sit and listen to "eew I don't like that" and "oh I can't have that" while they watch the person pick through their food. This person is specifically avoided when others are going out to lunch on the basis that "oh God, we don't want to have to pick a approved place" or "if we invite we are just going to have to sit and hear about their food and what they don't like about it".

I don't want to be this person! Medifast is about me losing weight and getting healthy. It's not an attention-getting mechanism. I'm not doing this on the basis that I want everyone to look a me and my restrictive plan and pay all attention to it. In fact, I want quite the opposite. I want to be able to live my life around friends and family while on Medifast in the same way that I did before I was on it, just without the unhealthy eating. That's the only change! And the change really only affects me and my choices.

With lunch outings at work, weekend football parties, and so much more on the horizon, I'm going to have to be focused on staying on plan but not being "that guy" at the same time. I really don't want people to think "don't invite Katie...she won't eat anything because its got carbs..." Don't get me wrong, I WON'T be eating anything carby. But, I'm also going to make it a point to be discreet about my restrictions, so as not to put an unwanted spotlight on myself. This isn't about getting attention from others. This is about losing weight and getting healthy so that I can experience the anxiety-free, healthy life that God has planned for me.

All of that being said...does anyone have any good "comebacks" to the "oh, you can eat just one" or "one bite won't kill you" or "girl you can cheat! It's the weekend. You can get back with it on Monday!" types of comments? I'd love fresh ideas and perspectives! Leave me some comments!

Day 3

Yesterday concluded day 3. According to all Medifast literature, as of the end of day 3, you are in ketosis ("fat burning mode"). So, let's raise our glass of water to being in "fat burning mode"! Speaking of glasses of water, I met my "drink half your body weight in ounces of water" goal yesterday! Wow, that's a lot of hooch!!! But, I did it, and it felt great. I don't think I've been to the bathroom quite so much in my life, but it felt sort of "cleansing" to constantly be getting rid of something.

Yesterday afternoon I struggled a little bit with "munchies." It's not even that I wanted something nearby, but I'd see something online or hear something on the radio, start thinking about food, and my stomach would growl. It was TOTALLY mental. So, I fixed myself a big bowl of Medifast soup (chicken and wild rice) with double the water and a bouillon cube (I wanted the most volume). That seriously ROCKED. It was so warm and filling, and it ended my "cravings" for the day.

Of course, yesterday was Halloween, so that meant "goodies" everywhere. Candy bowl at work, "spooky treat" contest at work, passing out candy after work... But, I'm proud to say that I wasn't really tempted at all. The candy bowl at work beckoned me once when I walked by, but I just kept walking. "Spooky treats" just don't really appeal to me. I'm not really interested in eating a cupcake with an eyeball on it... This year mom and I went to a friend's house and helped them pass out candy. With all 4 of us in the house being on Medifast, we didn't even want to buy candy to hand out. If we had any left over (and you know we would), it would have been a serious stumbling block.

Mom and I were both BEAT last night, so we ate out at a local restaurant (Jersey's). We both stayed on program. I had land and sea (a skewer of beef and a skewer of shrimp) with steamed broccoli and a side salad (very little dressing). Mom had a grilled chicken salad (also with very little dressing). It felt good to relax outside the house a bit, but not blow our diet. I love that we can still eat out without fear of going off plan.

Well, that was day 3...here's to day 4! I've already had 48 oz. of water and I've been awake for 2 hours (crazy)! Also, as of the scale this morning, I'm down another 2 pounds, making for a total loss of 6.4 since Monday. I'm so excited!!!